How well do you know yourself?

Do you think of yourself who, in a situation of crisis, would come to the rescue of a stranger being mugged? Would you be that person who dives into the flaming building to rescue the crying child as flames lick its cradle? It’s hard to say and I would argue impossible to know. That is, until you’re actually in that position – in that moment.

I guess it’s actually akin to the school-yard ponderings children put upon each other in an attempt to have them admit something undesirable.  Questions such as ‘would you suck your fathers dick to save his life?’. Probably not the most tasteful (pun intended) of examples.

I recall when I was first cutting my teeth on the employment scene, a fellow and far more senior employee said to me:

“Sean, this company is like a tree full of monkeys. At the top are your managers, your supervisors. They look down the tree and they see nothing but happy smiles of the monkeys beneath them. The monkeys on the bottom of the tree however, well….they look up and see nothing but arseholes.”

It’s an amusing anology for the mentality of employees and their respective positions. We all, apart from the very select few, start at the bottom of this proverbial monkey tree and we all experience what its like to work for arseholes. Those who know me are probably aware I recently proclaimed with glee about my promotion to a ‘shift manager’. The job has all the perks such as increased pay, more hours and more responsiblity; however it also came at a price.

Those collegues who I previously worked with; who I considered friends and would chat with all during my shifts about lifes oddities. Well..the whole office dynamic has changed. To then, I am now one of the arseholes. Nothing has occurred that would change the status quo, other than that simple promotion.

I find my newest challenge to be one of diplomacy.  Can I be one of the few who seem to have the god-given ability to quell the uprising while satisfying the demands of the bourgeoisie? I’ve certainly known a few of these individuals and I find myself constantly asking ‘what would Jesus do?’.

And with that thought I leave you to wonder for yourself; if you were in my position would you be trying extra hard to keep your arsehole clean? Or would you be finding the nearest curry and kebab stands while stocking up on the most effective laxative your local chemist recommends?

Phonic out.