Some of them saw him as a bit long in the tooth. In fact, even he thought that of himself. But who are they, or even himself, to define if he’s past it?

When the gates dropped the crowd erupted, he knew and felt it was right. The moment he hit turf, he was surrounded by cheers, the pure spectacle of the lights and the night.

As he looked at the crowd, he saw the faces of friends, some who he’d thought lost to time. The air was electric and the emotion around him was carried like a current up his spine. It changed something inside him and his eyes widened, seeing things in a completely new light.

Looking back now to the track and seeing the end in sight; a bitter sweet taste in his mouth. For this was his moment, his return to the field. The last post means the end of the night.

He knew how to finish, no matter the placing; he pushed himself home to the stable. He dug up the grass as he gritted and galloped, needing to make the most of it while still able.

Crossing the line and slowing down; he calmed himself and collected his thoughts. The big show was over and content now, was he, to sit and lay in reflection. To think of the blur that had just passed him by and the lessons he’d just been re-taught.

Chances are few in these short lives of ours and for some it’s a lesson not learned. But this horse has learned it, the hard way at first; but now a new being born most unruly.

And this story I tell, you see for me it’s important.
It’s a story about a horse named ‘Yours Truly’.

Do you think of yourself who, in a situation of crisis, would come to the rescue of a stranger being mugged? Would you be that person who dives into the flaming building to rescue the crying child as flames lick its cradle? It’s hard to say and I would argue impossible to know. That is, until you’re actually in that position – in that moment.

I guess it’s actually akin to the school-yard ponderings children put upon each other in an attempt to have them admit something undesirable.  Questions such as ‘would you suck your fathers dick to save his life?’. Probably not the most tasteful (pun intended) of examples.

I recall when I was first cutting my teeth on the employment scene, a fellow and far more senior employee said to me:

“Sean, this company is like a tree full of monkeys. At the top are your managers, your supervisors. They look down the tree and they see nothing but happy smiles of the monkeys beneath them. The monkeys on the bottom of the tree however, well….they look up and see nothing but arseholes.”

It’s an amusing anology for the mentality of employees and their respective positions. We all, apart from the very select few, start at the bottom of this proverbial monkey tree and we all experience what its like to work for arseholes. Those who know me are probably aware I recently proclaimed with glee about my promotion to a ‘shift manager’. The job has all the perks such as increased pay, more hours and more responsiblity; however it also came at a price.

Those collegues who I previously worked with; who I considered friends and would chat with all during my shifts about lifes oddities. Well..the whole office dynamic has changed. To then, I am now one of the arseholes. Nothing has occurred that would change the status quo, other than that simple promotion.

I find my newest challenge to be one of diplomacy.  Can I be one of the few who seem to have the god-given ability to quell the uprising while satisfying the demands of the bourgeoisie? I’ve certainly known a few of these individuals and I find myself constantly asking ‘what would Jesus do?’.

And with that thought I leave you to wonder for yourself; if you were in my position would you be trying extra hard to keep your arsehole clean? Or would you be finding the nearest curry and kebab stands while stocking up on the most effective laxative your local chemist recommends?

Phonic out.

You see, approximately 12 months ago, I was sitting at home, basking in all the glory that is unemployment. No responsibilities and all the free fucking time I could handle. Life just doesn’t get any better.

However the dream was shattered one day when my housemate (Pastheus) comes home and says, in all his usual eloquence, ‘Are you going to get a fucking job or what cunt?’. The profoundness of the question made my inner ethics start to stir. The dream had to die.

That afternoon I looked through the job advertisements in the local rag. One catches my eye straight away; it’s a position for a Casino Surveillance Operator. ‘That could be interesting’, I thought to myself, ‘Should give that a whack!’.

That one fatal life decision put a halting fucking screech to my leisurely life-style. Now faced by 40 to 70 hour working weeks, serious amounts of over-time owing and more responsibility than a 3rd world leader, I look back with envy.

It’s not all Doom and Gloom (or Death and Decay perhaps?). I have recently earned my Motorbike license, bought said vehicle, on a handsome salary, respected by my peers (Pencils up-ended in a steaming pile of shit is just a sign of affection) and a bright future in international travel. It seems I’ve done a 180 from my last profession.

You see, I hated being in I.T. It’s a dead end game. Perhaps its I.T. in the Northern Territory, perhaps not. But the only way I could see myself getting ahead, was actually giving head. That’s not quite my forte; even though my boss was actually quite attractive, if not a complete back-stabbing fucking whore. *kisses*.

So what’s the point of all this dribble? I hear you ask. Well, it’s kind of a retrospective of my life over the last year. It may sound like I cut myself every night before going into a self fueled hate induced coma; but it’s not. I’m actually happy doing what I do and how often I do it. In short, life’s fucking dandy for me right now.

My next biggest hurdles include losing weight, making more friends and finding a female who has low enough standards to fuck me for a lengthy period of time (It’s Darwin, it can’t be that hard).

Tally-ho!

(and merry fucking Xmas).

But I forgot to take photos of most of the zones, so you will just have to take my word on aforementioned travels. Either that or I will upload some more later on.

Stay tuned for some Warhammer Online screenies.